Daily Delight: The Grace to Deal with People

Dealing with people is not easy. However, I believe that people skills are just that—a skill. And a skill can be learned, improved upon, and mastered. I also believe that God can give us the grace to successfully manage our relationships with people if we ask Him.

Learning to deal with people is, in actuality, learning how to love others, no matter what. This is something that cannot be avoided because the first and greatest commandment is that you love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength. The second is like it: you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

The two are inextricably linked. How can you say that you love God, whom you cannot see, if you do not love your neighbor, whom you can see? It can't be done, but I believe that God can give us the grace to successfully manage our relationships with people if we ask Him, even with difficult people. Because sometimes, we ourselves are that difficult person.

This morning, while reading my Bible, I heard the Lord say, "When people bite you with their words, you cannot respond by your feelings. You must respond by principles. If the enemy can get you to respond by your feelings, you have stepped out of the spirit and entered into his domain." Isn't that something? When I am dealing with people, I have the responsibility as God's ambassador to respond by faith, to respond in the spirit. When I respond in the spirit, I make room for God to move in the interaction. But when I respond in the flesh, I give room for the devil to come in and cause hurt, bitterness, confusion, and all manner of things.

A wise pastor once told me that just because someone is in the wrong, it does not relieve you of your responsibility to love them. This is exactly what Jesus did. The story that comes to mind is about the woman caught in adultery. The mob brought her to Jesus and crowded around Him, demanding an answer. But what did Jesus do? He paused, knelt down, wrote on the ground, and when He stood up, He responded in the wisdom of the Holy Ghost and said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Wow! That was most definitely a Spirit-led response because look at what happened next! Every single person, from the oldest to the youngest, dropped their stone and walked away, and then a sinner was restored. Isn't this what it's all about? Restoration of the human soul to the Father.

When we are standing before a person, we have to realize that this is a person that Jesus died for. This is a person that Jesus loves, and we have to refuse to get caught up in the emotions. We must refuse to do it and love that person well. We have to live by the principles found in Scripture so that we may tap dance over the problem instead of being pulled down into the mud.

Yes, I may feel like gossiping about the person who did me wrong, but thus says the Lord: "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret." Yes, I may feel like shrinking back and people-pleasing, but thus says the Lord: "If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Yes, I may feel like being rude back, but thus says the Lord: "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Is my response going to stir up the devil, or is my response going to loose the Holy Ghost into the situation?

When we respond in the spirit, we attract the move of the spirit.

This doesn't mean that you have to be a pushover. Was Jesus a pushover in any of His dealings with people? Did He allow the Pharisees and the Sadducees to push Him around? No, He did not. He spoke the truth in love, and people didn't always like what He had to say. Why? Because when the Holy Spirit speaks, He brings conviction. He doesn't just stir up strife or drama, but He does sometimes stir the flesh to save the soul.

Something that the Lord is teaching me to do is to be slow to speak, to pause, and ask Him, "How do you want me to respond?" Trust me, He is faithful to answer, and the wisdom of His responses always blows me away. You see, the Holy Spirit is the grace that we need to deal with people and love them well. He has mastered the skill of dealing with people. So, surrender to Him. Study the Word of God that you may know how to respond. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.

Let's pray:

Lord, first I repent of any time that I have not loved Your people well. I repent of any time I have walked by the flesh in my dealings with people. Help me, teach me, give me the grace to be as innocent as a dove but as wise as a serpent. Help me to know how to respond in a way that measures my words as a person who will have to give account for what comes out of my mouth. Thank You for the gift of Your Holy Spirit, and deepen my dependence on Him day by day. In Jesus' name, Amen.